The day Crazed fans killed tortured Mike Newton
by VampiressE12B
Summary: Sequle to killing Jake thing. we kill mike! YAY! Time to kill mike. includes a juicer! WARNING: i will not be held responsible for any juicer night mares.
1. The Dollar Store

The dollar store

_**AN/ Yes!! It is a SEQULE!!!! Horary!! Every one be happy, now! **_

**Disclaimer:**** no, I don't own twilight. I also don't own Orlando Bloom, but he's not very important. Especially if you put him next to Twilight. **

**Or catnip. **

**Kylie's POV**

We ran all the way to Port Angelas, and got to ….

**A dollar store!!**

That's right! A magical, wonderful dollar store. That were we were to get all out stuff. We were now on another path. One to kill a certain Michle Renaldo Newton.

"Lets see." I said, deciding what to get. I grabbed 7 lemons, and 8 garden gnomes. Daytona tried to put dog treats in the cart, but I pulled them out.

"Oh, we cant put dog treats in but you can put something as ridiculas as garden gnomes in?" she asked.

"Duh. Mike is afraid of garden gnomes."

"How do you explain the lemons?" Sam questioned. They acted like they doubted me.

"Mike doesn't like the lemon fly's, remember?" I reminded her.

"Oh." And that was the end of their doubt.

Suddenly Sam grabbed something off of the shelf.

"Catnip." She said, waving it in front of me before dropping the bag into the basket. I smiled. Sam knew where this was going.

"Ohh. Hot pink hair dye and beads." Daytona said in a very stalkerish voice. Which was strange, considering we weren't stalking Edward right now.

I took the stuff she was staring at and put it in the cart, it would come in handy.

I wheeled the cart and my friends, who happened to be sitting in the cart, to the kitchen utensils aisle.

"Oh! Oh! Kylie!!" Sam shouted, "Lets use this!" she was holding up a spatula. That wouldn't work. I shook my head and kept walking. Until I saw it. A toaster. It was PERFECT!!!

I put it in the cart and paid for it while Sam and Daytona continued to be retards.

"Hey! Guys stop being tards its time to go." I said, waving the bag in front of them.

"Oh, fine! Be that way!" I would be that way. That was the way I enjoyed being.

We all got into the hummer that we hijacked and drove toward Forks.

AN/ oh my god! I love dollar stores! They are SO cool!!! DOLLOR STORES ARE AWESOME!!!! Don't you just love mikes middle name?


	2. Radio Stations of doom

Radio Stations

AN/ I need people who want to help. Otherwise there wont be many chapters. No One is reading this!! Why!? Any way I usually do this kind of thing with my dad. I hate his music!!

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own Twilight, or any of the music mentioned in this story/chapter.**

**Kylie's POV**

As I drove to the hijacked hummer down the road, Daytona turned on the radio and on came Hey there Delilah.___**(God I hate that song. It is SO annoying.) **_I made a gagging sound and turned it to Behind these Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. Sam of coarse didn't like that and changed it to Hips Don't lie by Shakira. I normally didn't have a problem with and liked this song, but I liked Kelly Clarkson more and switched it back. Then Daytona wanted her music and we switched it back and forth until Daytona turned it off. We all sat in silence, which was broken when Sam asked if we were there yet.

"Not yet, we have to get instructions." I answered.

"Yeah like some one will really just give us directions, plus we don't want to get caught." Said Sam.

"We aren't going to ASK." I told them. It was silent for a few minutes before Daytona spoke up.

"And how exactly are we going to GET directions?"

"School records."

_**AN/ Okay I really need some one to give me an idea and be willing to jump in front of this car to get them to me. Help people!! I know I said that we weren't old enough to drive, but that's what makes it so funny. I don't even know how we know how. I just magically acquired the ability. I'm such a re. This was a filler chapter until some one decides they want to help. **_


	3. School Records

School Records

AN/ there were tons of ideas and no one gave me this one, sadly. It popped into my head. But a few ideas will be used in later chapters.

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own twilight**

**Kylie's POV**

We got to the school just in time for the cover of night. The hummer being yellow didn't help much so we left it a few miles back.

We all put on our SUPER SPIE GEAR!! We would need it if we were to get in there. I mean, you can't have a break-in without super spy gear.

We sneaked in and did the whole roll over and hit our heads on the doors thing. Sam hit hers on a table, Daytona on a chair, and me on the records cabinet.

"Yes! I found it!" I whisper yelled. The others stood up and came to see.

"Okay, now lets find Mikes." Daytona said.

We stood there for 1 hour looking for his records. When finally Sam said

"Hey his last name is Newton right?" she had found the record.

I took it from her and looked at the address, then wrote it down on my arm. I handed it to Daytona and she took it carefully and put it back in to its spot in the file cabinet.

"Guys" Sam said suddenly "Is that the C cabinet?" I looked at it and ran to get it first. After some pushing and shoving I yanked it open and found what I was looking for.

We all gasped at the title: Cullen, Edward Anthony. We all started squealing in a way only an obsessed fan girl could ever do.

"I am so taking this." I said. "We can copy it in the copy machine." We took it to the copy machine and made three copies, then we put the original back. We then found all the other Cullen's and Bella and copied those as well.

We were just about to leave when suddenly there was a hole drilled in the ceiling. Crazy is what I aim for was lowered down into the room.

"Hi guys!" she said cheerfully. We all said our answering hellos then she got series and said in a creepy voice.

"I heard you were going to kill NEWTON," she said spitting the name out in disgust. "I thought you might want to use this." She said holding up a Juicer. "It will be much more painful then a toaster." She added.

"This is perfect!" I said happily. "Thanks!"

"Your welcome." She answered. "But I have to leave now, I have to feed my evil plushies of doom. They get so crabby when the don't get fed." She said and there was a creepy sort of gjbbergishe I now. From up by the other end of the rope. "I'm coming!" Crazy yelled up to the noise.

"Hey, what do those things eat any way?" asked Daytona.

"Marshmallows of coarse! How do you think they stay so plushiful?" she answered and then left through the whole in the ceiling.

We took the Juicer back the hummer and started driving toward 6678 Pine Drive. As we were driving, Daytona threw the toaster out the window. After all we didn't need it any more.

_**AN/ okay so how do you all like it? Was it good? REVIEW PEOPLE REVIEW!! Okay done ranting now. **_


	4. questions and shady answers

Questions and Shady Answers

_**AN/ yeah it's a filler. But I had to put this in there just to make it funny.**_

**Disclaimer:**** same old same old.**

**Kylie's POV**

This time I let Daytona drive. I sat in the back with my lab top. _**(Can you guess what I'm doing? Lol.)**_ Sam suddenly asked the question that I had been dreading.

"So, how are these people finding out what were doing?" she looked at me and I quickly closed the laptop and hid it under my chair.

"Well kylie?" she asked. Uh oh, Sam knew.

"Umm, I've been sending out for recruits?" I said, giving her a shady answered.

Daytona and Sam both looked at each other and decided not to ask. I breathed out a sigh of relief as we continued down the road to mike Newton's house.

_**AN/ it popped into my head at the last minute and I had to do something with it.**_


	5. Tieing up mike

Tying Mike up

AN/ yeah time to tie mike up. I am on a roll today!! Review for all chapters though because I'll feel bad if you don't.

**Disclaimer:**** Please don't sue me! Please! I'm too young to go to jail!!!**

**Kylie's POV**

When we got to Mike's house, we all jumped behind a tree. We changed in to our purple jump suits. Every one knows that since Barney yelled at mike when he was little, he was terrified of purple. _**(AN/ didn't use orange, sorry, but I can't stand it, so I justified purple.) **_

We snuck in threw the kitchen window and rolled on the floor to get into our SUPER SPY poses. Sam and me accidentally bumped heads, but that wasn't unusual for us. Sam looked around and stood guard while we locked all the doors and windows.

Then while Sam stood guard, Daytona and I went to tie up Mike. We found him asleep on his couch in front of the TV. Sam brought us some Rope that she found in the laundry room. We knew however that mike was a very light sleeper, and so I did not get to laugh very loudly. But I did get my laugh.

"Mwahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahhahah!!" I whispered. Daytona and Sam snickered at my strangeness. We picked him up carefully and set him in the uncomfortable kitchen chair that Sam brought in from the kitchen and tied him up.

"Wow," Daytona said, "Rope is way easier to tie than chains." Sam and I agreed and then took out the stuff.

_**AN/ MY chapters may be short today, but they are interesting. Don't you agree?**_


	6. setting up the stuff

Setting Up the Stuff

AN/ Hello people. I just started school and so you will be getting less and less updates. They probably wont be on weekends though. I hate weekends. I love Fridays. So don't start yelling at me, I got all the hard and strict teachers this year, which sucks.

**Disclaimer:**** I may not own this, but I do own an entire collection of sharpies. Sharpies are awesome.**

**Kylie's POV**

We started to set up the stuff in the best way. So that it would terrify him. We stuck some paper wings on the lemons and hung them from the ceiling so that it looked like they were flying.

Then, we took the garden gnomes and set them in a circle all around him. Sam drew little pupils in their eyes so that it looked like they were watching him. Their little creepy faces scared even me.

We sat then, and waited for Mike to wake up.

_**AN/ Yeah you hate me for making the chapters so short but I give you plenty of them don't I? **_


	7. waking up mike

Waking up Mike

_**AN/ we get tired of waiting for him to wake up, so we do it ourselves.**_

**Disclaimer:**** mike is so lucky that I don't own Twilight.**

**Kylie's POV**

"I can't take it any more!" Sam yelled, "When will he wake up?!"

I looked at my watch. "Umm, 5 minutes."

"I can't wait that long cant we just do it ourselves?" Daytona asked. I agreed.

We each got close to his face and stared at him. Our creepy gazes broke through his subconscious and so he felt our eyes on him. It made him wake up.

When his eyes opened, and he saw us staring at him, we said in our creepiest stalker voices "Hello Michel." His eyes widened as he took in his surroundings.

"Oh Crap!!"

_**AN/ Yeah it was short. Too short. But just go to the next chapter and stop complaining.**_


	8. CRAP!

Crap

_**AN/ Okay so this is mikes pov of what just happened.**_

**Disclaimer: ****go away.**

**Mike's POV**

I was once again dreaming my favorite dream. The one where I was the first to get to Bella when she moved here. _**(AN/ Don't you love how they all dream about Bella?)**_

In this dream, as soon as she saw me she ran into my arms and proclaimed, "Mike! Oh Mike! My one and only love!" and she kissed me. And no matter how much the other girls of the school screamed and cried and shouted death threats. She just kept kissing me._** (Mike is so living in a fantasy world. Lol.)**_

But then my dream took a new turn and Bella shouted, "I can't take it any more!!"

"Cant take what, my darling?" I asked her. Suddenly, Jessica yelled, "When will he wake up?!" and I was still just as confused as before.

Until of coarse, I felt the eyes on me. The horrible terrible eyes.

It woke me up.

Before me stood three different girls who were a couple years younger, but hey? Beggars can't be choosers. But then I noticed the creepy look that they were giving me and I knew I was in trouble.

"Oh Crap!!" I said. "You're the freaks that killed Black!!" they looked at each other and nodded. Then the brunette with the green eyes said "Yeah, that was fun!" _**(That would be me by the way.)**_

"You- your going to kill me now aren't you!?" I stammered. Once again they all looked at each other and nodded. Then the one with the shorter darker hair _**(Daytona)**_ said " Yeah that about sums it up."

"Of course we have to torture you first." Said the shorter, obviously younger, and brunette with brown eyes said. _**(That would be Sam)**_

This was not going to be fun.

_**AN/ You like?**_


	9. time to torture mike

Time to Torture Mike

AN/ lol. Torture time. You guys wont get many updates from me now though since school started. I usually type up a chapter in at most 1 hour, though, so when you do get updates you'll probably get more than one.

**Disclaimer:**** I took a writing class and I had a worksheet where you had to put down what you would do in a certain situation:**

**A space ship lands in your back yare****: run out the front door screaming "OMG!! OMG!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"**

**Super man moves in to the house next to yours: ****tell him how creepy he is and that he should get some normal clothes.**

**A strange man or woman says they can grant you one wish:**** wish that I owned Twilight.**

**Kylie's POV**

He looked around at all of the evil torture devices and we took one step toward him. This completely freaked him out so as a group without words we decided to do it again, and again, and again until we were right in front of him.

"Daytona," I said, "get the hphd." I was speaking in code so that he didn't realize what she was really getting. She brought forth the hot pink hair dye and even though he screamed bloody murder, we dyed his hair the bright florescent pink.

Then Sam got the beads and we braided them into his hair, even though it really was too short to braid. All the while telling him about how much we hate him and why.

"You really were annoying in Twilight." Daytona said.

"Yeah I wanted to shoot you the first time you showed up that's how annoying you were." Sam agreed.

Then I let Sam have the honors of showing him the mirror.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WHAT THE HEL…"

"LANGUEGE!!" I yelled. "After all, there are people reading this." I said getting strange looks from all around. "I mean, we have to be a little umm. You know what never mind swear if you want to."

"#$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mike yelled. I wont tell you what he said. It was quit rude.

Then I got the catnip and we all started to force feed it to him. It was fun watching him choke when he accidentally inhaled it. Very fun. We then proceeded to squirt lemon juice in his eyes.

"I bet now you wished you had given money for the lemon fly's!" Sam yelled.

Finally it was time to take him to the juicer. He understood as soon as it started working.

"Can you at least knock me out?" he asked trying to get mercy. But mercy isn't in my vocab.

"Nope sorry." I said before we threw him into the juicer. Like Jacob he screamed and cried and even whimpered for a while. When all of the noise finally stopped we turned off the blender.

Creepyladie123 suddenly showed up with her bazooka. "I wannna help!" she said. "You already killed him!" she accused when she saw the juicer.

Just then there was a moan.

"DUCK!!" I yelled and we all ducked while creepy ladie shot at the juicer until the moaning stopped. Then once again we heard sirens and ran to get the hummer. We jumped in and Creepy drove away.

We had just gotten outside the city limits when creepy stopped the car.

"I'm leaving now bye." She said and got out and walked away. We drove the hummer into the woods a little farther, and set up a camp there. We found cloths that strangely fit us stuffed in the trunk.

"Wow that's weird." Sam commented on the clothes. But who really cared? I mean, common. It's better than nothing.

_**AN/ hmm what will happen next?**_


	10. More Wanted

More Wanted

AN/ Yes we are going to kill more people in the next story!! Yay!! Okay. So, this is the last chapter!!!! Whoop!

**Disclaimer:**** Last night I dreamt that I owned Twilight, when I woke up I cried. **

**Greg's POV**

I had gotten the call during lunch. There was another murder, on Pine drive. A Mike Newton was killed with a juicer. I recognized this from somewhere. Where was it?

That's when it came to me. The fan girls. They used a blender on black and a juicer on Newton! What was next? A spatula!

I told Chief Swan who I thought was doing this. He agreed that I should try to bring them down at once. He was worried about his daughter, Bella, seeing as she was home alone so much.

And so I realized that we might have some serial killers on our hands.

AN/ Okay, now, you vote. Do you want me to kill the next person with:

_**A a toaster**_

_**B a coffee maker or**_

_**C a microwave? **_

_**Tell me before I start the next one. Which will probably be like tomorrow or possibly the next day.**_

_**REVIEW!!**_


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